Sunday, June 19, 2011

Things I've learned from Jason Bourne.

Jason Bourne has taught me that if you get shot in the shoulder, inject yourself with pain killers if found, then walk it off.

If you're going to jump from a moving train, jump and roll, then walk it off.

If you've got to jump onto a moving boat from a bridge, jump and roll, then walk it off.

If you need to contact someone you think is being tracked at their office, call them at a colleague's desk, this will prevent the conversation from being heard.

If you know someone is watching you, let them know you know they're watching you by looking at the camera as if you were looking right at them, this will throw them off.

If you're going to meet someone in public you've never met before and you need to be avoid actually being seen, buy a prepaid phone walk by them and slip it in their pocket. Call them and give them instructions in real-time to avoid rotating cameras and 2 mobile counter-strike teams.

If you're going to break into a CIA office, use the staircase to get in, lock down all their doors. Call up the director there and record his greeting when he answers the call. Pull a finger print off of his mouse and then use the voice print and finger print to open his safe. Take all his documents. If he lies to you in the phone conversation, tell him the truth.

If you're looking for a car to hot wire, choose Audi. They're easy to hot wire.

If you find yourself in the middle of a fire fight between NYPD and CIA operatives, just jump in the NYPD's Impala and drive off. They won't care.

If you're even involved in road rage and a crash is imminent, YANK the passenger side seat belt and hold on tight. Remember, avoid road rage at all costs when you have other passengers.

If you need to drive through a concrete wall or large SUV with a car, pull a 180 degree turn and ram through using the rear of the car. Don't forget to yank the seat belt before impact.

If you don't remember any of this, don't worry because decisions made in real-time are never perfect.
Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
Never second guess an operation from an arm chair.


1 comment:

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